Its kinda sad when i knew some one almost my entire life and yet i really don't know them.. last night while i was laying in bed trying to sleep i kept thinking how it was sad that i had a best friend then a guy got in the way, then i broke up with him because of the crap he did to me. But it still doesnt matter because she still chooses his side i'm no longer invited to birthdays because he's there and how he comes first now. If only she knew what he did or said..........................

to the woman I never knew

to the woman I never knew



I welcomed you into my heart and life agian,
no questions asked, and what did you do?
you pushed me away again,
you decited that you didn't
want me again, that you didn't want
to be a mother, you come and go as you
please,
All my life it was like one month
I had a mommy, a month later
I didn't have one.
just like that I had no mommy.
Ever wonder what that kind
of stuff that does to a 7 year old?
I do, it hurts so much.
I wish I knew how to keep
you here with me.
I want to be able to have the
relationship with my mother
that most girls get, but I
never will, and thats depressing.
Just remember I told you
I was not going to do this again,
you go MIA again I'm out
you will never cause me
no more pain. I'm tired, worn out,
and finished. I am no longer the
perfact daughter I will not wait
for you to decide to be a mommy
again. No more, I have cried enough
I will cry one more time and that will
probably be on my sons birthday
the day you yet again "PROMISED"
me.. No more promises they really hurt.
Good bye mommy, the woman that

I never knew.................

depression

well today was an ok day. But I feel like Im the worst person alive today. Wyatt ate almost all of his dinner. I keep holding in the tears.. Mark cooked some yummy chicken, fries, and veggies.. its been a week since i took my meds maybe i should start taking them again. :(